At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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