i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
