Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
