I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need a burrito and a hug.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize