well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
