Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
