Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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