So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
