and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found the other keg... it's in the tree
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
