Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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