scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
