Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
