She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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