...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
