if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
