I heard we made out
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
