Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
