jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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