My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
