I forgot how hot balto sounded
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
