I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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