You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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