I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize