was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize