well you can't waste a boner
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
