you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
