It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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