Porn is love you can see.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
