why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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