We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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