Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
