how can u be prego again
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize