wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the day after is always just damage control
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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