I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize