trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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