then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
