Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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