I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
