What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This baby is an asshole
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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