I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
