I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
