My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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