Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
