just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize