I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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