dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize