so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
vagina is talking i cant
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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