We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize