New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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