I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize