You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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