so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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