i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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