I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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