and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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