He had one of those small greek statue penises
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
