I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
