I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
