we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
