Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
accomplished twins. life is a go
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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