Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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